There seems to be a alarming amount of sellers on eBay who seem to do nothing more than destroy fine old typewriters. I have compiled the worst of them into a list with each case getting a rating on the Typewriter Atrocity-O-Meter (1 being not that bad to 10 being reserved for the people who have the nerve to destroy Smith Premiers and Hammonds).
Do you see any reason someone should remove the keys from this Royal KMM? I don’t either. Now I know that a KMM is a dime-a-dozen typewriter but still it looks to be in good shape.
Atrocity-O-Meter Rating: 2.2
Whats worse than destroying a fine Royal KMM, a Royal P with the woodgrain finish of course!
And of course when selling the disassembled machine on eBay, they don’t include the key levers, which I’m sure we can all deduce what happened to those.
Atrocity-O-Meter Rating: 4
Now this typewriter is not rare at all but every one of these destroyed by the Keychoppers is one less Underwood 5 in the world.
The Underwood 5 is such a great writing machine it is such a shame that this one was destroyed for chintzy jewelry no one wears .
Atrocity-O-Meter Rating: 1.3
This next one makes me sick just looking at it…
That’s right, someone went and butchered a Remington 6 (a upstrike machine). Now unlike some of the other typewriters on this list, this one has a higher chance of being saved as any good woodworker can make new key levers. Then you would just apply my patented Re-Keying technique of making new keys.
Atrocity-O-Meter Rating: 8.7
You might be thinking “does it get worse?!” well unfortunately, yes it does get worse.
Hammond Multiplex Folding.
I…I don’t know what to say…
Atrocity-O-Meter Rating: 9.8 (it didn’t get a perfect 10 because some of the keys are still there).